real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I need to stop coming to work sober
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
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