How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
