living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
