It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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