My friends, they love my intelligence
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
