I checked into jail on foursquare
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
