Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Randomize
