i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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