i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
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