I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
she woke up with a sticky ear
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
