Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
