The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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