brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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