The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Did you just see the Batmobile???
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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