So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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