I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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