Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dignity is for republicans.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
