I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
