Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Randomize
