is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize