Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
