Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
