Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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