ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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