are you still at the devil's house?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
