Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
