Say something about gay babies.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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