She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
