My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
porn star boner night. come get it.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
