We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
