Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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