I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
