you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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