i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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