I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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