why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
