We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize