The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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