how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
