how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize