then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
