Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
