he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
