Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
