Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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