I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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