Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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