I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
