im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Damn victory sex feels great
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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