We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
