dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
My ass is underappreciated
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
