Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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