he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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