she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
