We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
