I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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