i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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