I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
