We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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