if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
