Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
