Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
