We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
