after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
