All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
