i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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