u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
