i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
