Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
