are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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