I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
